it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He shit in the fireplace
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
