Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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