I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
