i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
