I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
