I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
