its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
