i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
