My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
