Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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