Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
