He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
