she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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