i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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