you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This is my gift to your gina
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
