I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just googled if crying burns calories
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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