I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
