Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
