omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
