Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
