At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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