you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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