it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
