While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
