well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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