Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
