Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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