4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize