why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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