dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize