My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
