This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
