I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
