...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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