Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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