Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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