I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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