I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
