Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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