Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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