He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
