watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
