btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
