My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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