The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
