Already got asked if we're dating
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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