I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
