let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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