would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
