his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it because I queefed?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize