I love black thongs
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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