I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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