i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
