Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
