I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
