my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
