ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
