You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
