So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize