walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
