the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
